GQ Magazine has declared Brooklyn the “Coolest City on the Planet.” Get our take at the Brooklyn Bugle.

Also, discover We Are Augustines in our latest Brooklyn Bugle Session. We first wrote about two of the band members when their last group, Pela, played bocce at Floyd with Rolling Stone magazine after being named one of their Artists to Watch. Billy McCarthy and Eric Sanderson are now teamed up with drummer Rob Allen and released their debut album Rise Ye Sunken Ships earlier this year. The collection chronicles the emotions and challenges faced by McCarthy over a year where he lost his mother as well as his brother James. Watch their performance and our interview with them here.

Also, discuss Lucia Greenhouse’s fathermothergod, the latest addition to the Brooklyn Bugle Book Club.

Brooklyn Heights is a peculiar piece of real estate among the five boroughs: a quiet, clean suburb with tree-lined streets and a wide-screen view of FiDi. Thanks to the perfectly preserved brownstones and soft sunlight, it feels a bit like the neighborhood time forgot.

Time Out then quotes several neighborhood residents and business owners concerning what they like best about the Heights. One of those quoted is BHB founder and publisher John “Homer Fink” Loscalzo, who recommends getting a haircut and a history lesson from Tom or Rocky at The Cutting Den in the Clark Street Station arcade. He also recommends playing bocce at Floyd NY, on Atlantic between Clinton and Henry, and taking friends, or just oneself, for a stroll on Pier 1 in Brooklyn Bridge Park. Update: Martina Parker, wife of BHB contributor Matthew Parker, is also quoted: “The architecture is beautiful and it feels, especially in the wintertime at night, like you’re stepping into the 19th or early-20th century.”

Welcome to Football Row, if you will.

But is that going to cause some fisticuffs? Soccer brawls? Hooligan invasion? Courier Life reports:

Yournabe.com: “We’ve always shown the games, but it’s getting bigger,” said Chip Shop owner Chris Sall. “We’ve added a bunch of TVs two years ago, and even replaced the ones we had with larger screens.”

The restaurant is an official supporter of the Arsenal Football Club, based out of North London. When the games are on, you can enjoy some beer specials, as well as an English breakfast, which, given the early nature of these games here because of the time difference, is a big hit, said Sall.

“We’re the family venue,” he said. “It’s a safe environment where fathers can bring their sons in for games. You’re not going to hear drunken Liverpool supporters.”

That you can leave to the Roebling Inn, which is an official supporter of the Liverpool Club. Liverpool’s first game is against Chip Shop’s Arsenal on Aug. 15, and, given the two team’s long-seated rivalry, is going to be big. Just don’t expect as much drama between the two bars.

“I like the people at Chip Shop,” said Furlani. “I don’t predict any animosity.”

Floyd owner Sean Neill also speaks highly of his neighbors.

“We import a lot of English tradition, but not any kind of hooliganism,” said Neill, whose bar is known primarily for its indoor bocce ball courts but also for its devotion to the Spurs — not the basketball team, but the London-based Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. “I convinced Spurs supporters to locate to Floyd a year after we opened, around 2004,” he said.

Testament to that, signed shirts, photographs and flags all belonging to the North London team can be found throughout the bar.

“Spurs fans in the UK send us things or bring them on a visit all the time,” said Neill. “We seem to be well-known across the water.”

As for the BHB crew, we choose one of the lowest ranked teams to root for every year, which means West Ham United you’re our team! Let’s find a bar!

Only on BHB:

Park Progress: Pier 1 (Twelfth Report)

Jacques Torres launches ice cream next week

Listen to the New Homer Fink Show

P.S. 8, Like Hollywood, Readies Summer Blockbuster Sequel

New Kings on the Block

Yassky on Dock Street’s 11th Hour

84th Precinct Police Blotter 5/19/09

This week’s community meetings

Hey Wait a Minute Mr. Postman

Sea Asian Opens at New Location

and in other news:

Dock Street Drama

84th Precinct Hero Cops Honored

From Cobble Hill Blog:

Enoteca on Court: Marco Polo’s wine bar

76th and 84th Precinct Police Blotter 5/19/09

One year ago on BHB:

Farewell Lobster, Let’s Hope You Find a Good Home

Eagle: Penson Stops DOB from Demolishing 100 Clark Street

La Dolce Doggie Or Isn’t That Really Dangerous?

Two years ago on BHB:

ForgottenNY on Atlantic Avenue

Bouncy Bocce

Using the magical BHB Photoshop utility, we’ve come up with a shore-fire way to make the Montague Street Piazza‘s second week a smash.  All Montague BID needs to do is add the following:

• Dick Swizzle Trivia
• Bikini Car Wash (thanks Brownstoner commenter guy)
• Bocce… with the Pussycat Dolls
• A Beer Maid
• Kick it Old Skool NYC with Three Card Monte
• Scottish Games
• and… Shakira!

We believe these simple additions will add some technicolor to this initiative and make Sundays on Montague Street fun!

Over two mildly warm days last month, The News took surface temperature readings at five synthetic fields across the city accompanied by NYC Park Advocates, a group that has been critical of the fake grass.

At all five, temperatures at the synthetic fields soared roughly twice as high as at nearby natural grass ones, from a low of 144 degrees at the Greenbelt Recreation Center on Staten Island to a scorching 162 at Flushing Meadows-Corona Park in Queens.

“It’s sadistic that the city is installing a product which gets so hot and is actually expecting the public to play on it,” said NYC Park Advocates President Geoffrey Croft.

We here at BHB HQ found this out the hard way last year during an impromptu bocce match at Cadman Plaza. We are still waiting for the Daily News’ hard-hitting report on the remarkable bounciness of the new turf.

Of course, the Parks Department are aware of the issues, and are considering installing signs warning visitors:

“The temperatures can get very high during the heat of the day. But people are smart. They are not going to use a place that is uncomfortable to play on,” said Liam Kavanagh, first deputy parks commissioner.

Artificial Turf: Toxic, bouncy, and unusable on nice warm summer days.

Brigate Bocce, the official bocce team of BHB, won its first game of the Summer season in league play at FloydNY on Sunday. The Brigates faced off against the Holy Rollers, taking the match in two tight games: 7 – 5, 7 – 6.

Brigate Capo Homer Fink entertained reporters after the game stating, “Questa settimana è la vittoria di bittersweet come la nostra squadra di calcio nazionale ha subito un ‘amara sconfitta. Tuttavia noi effettuato in loro onore e si sforzano di vincere più giochi. Vogliamo ringraziare il Santo Rulli per avere ciò che ci piace chiamare “personalità”. Vogliamo loro bene questa stagione.”

Brigate Bocce, the official Bocce team of BHB, engaged in league play at FloydNY for the first time in over a year Sunday. After allegedly being “banned” from the sport Cappo Homer Fink and company played tenaciously in a point-by-point pot boiler against the Gowanus Iguanas. Despite some clutch plays by Naked Idiot’s Dan and the Polling Unit’s JDP the Brigates came up short losing in two sets 7-3, 7-5.

Capo Fink commented to reporters gathered at a post game screening of You Don’t Mess with the Zohan: “In considerazione del fatto che nessuno di noi ha svolto o praticato il meraviglioso gioco di bocce, poiché essendo vietata, avrei da dire abbiamo fatto molto bene. Siamo grati per il nostro ripristino e ansioso di vincere il trofeo per questo anno che trofeo è mio e devo farlo. Per il nostro futuro avversari, Vi suggerisco di imparare a ridere un po ‘di tanto in tanto, è un bene per voi.”

The Brigates face Boccismo next Sunday at Floyd.

Australian born actor and former Boerum Hill resident Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment in lower Manhattan today.  He was in his bed, with a bottle of sleeping pills nearby.  Ledger was 28.

During his time in the area, Ledger and former companion Michelle Williams could be seen out and about on Montague Street as well as at Bar Tabac on Smith Street. BHB reported on Ledger's outing watching bocce at Floyd in 2006. 

More at Cobble Hill Blog.

Millions of fans of “The Sopranos” went to bed on Sunday night feeling a little unsatisfied. Did Tony get whacked or was he faced with a different crisis — choosing between the burger or the steak? While existential nuance may tickle the fancy of drama students, “Sopranos” mavens wanted more Scorsese and a lot less Sartre.

The loose ends in the finale tell us that no story, no matter how great, ends with everything tied up neatly. But no one who has lived in Brooklyn Heights needs a TV show finale to tell him that. (Don’t we all wish we could tie up the loose ends in this neighborhood: Brooklyn Bridge Park, the Clark Street elevators, the BQE cantilever project, dopey drivers in the Brooklyn Bridge bike lane?)

Face it, that Schlitz you hurled at the television Sunday night was not entirely fueled by anger at the “Sopranos.” It was also fired up by excess double-parking, threats of congestion pricing, Astroturf in your park and the fact that you can’t get a decent meal without food poisoning on Montague Street. Not to mention the long lines of tourists at Grimaldi’s. Can’t a guy get a pizza without so much drama?

With that much pent-up it’s no wonder why not knowing Tony’s true fate would drive a man to — hallucination. A combination of that lack of closure, urban dread and some spicy meatballs got me dreaming about what really happens to the Jersey Capo, suggesting that maybe we need a little “Sopranos” in our lives:

Now that he’s made peace with the New York family, Tony has branched out to Brooklyn. “Good idea, Tony,” Paulie says. “I saw the Virgin Mary at the Fruit Street Sitting Area once.”

Tony pulls his SUV around the Brooklyn Bridge bike lane, flips off a bicyclist and begins searching for a parking spot on Henry Street. He’s cranking Bob Dylan’s “Tangled Up in Blue” on the stereo. Not long after rolling into the Heights, he realizes that street parking is futile and parks in the Henry Street garage.

Tony stops at the Busy Chef for a cappuccino. He like the place. Two days later, the scaffolding that has been plaguing business for years is gone. “It’s good to have friends,” he tells Chef Dan.

In a futile search for a nice cappicola-and-peppers hero, Tony strolls along Henry Street, and notices an empty storefront — the former home of Q Photo. With a couple of calls, Soprano arranges for a pork store to open in the vacant space. Clearly, the high Heights rents won’t deter his desire for a satisfying lunch. He ponders turning the Brooklyn Heights Cinema into a strip joint, but a call from a certain blog publisher interrupts his train of thought. “Casino? I gotta check that out,” he says.

On Montague Street, Tony walks into the Heights Casino. Since his luck has turned good again, he’s always looking for action. He’s disappointed to observe only bankers in white shorts playing racquetball. Not a craps game or blackjack table in sight. He resolves to “fix that problem” and heads closer to Downtown. At the corner of Willoughby and Bridge Streets, Tony picks up a hot coffee and doughnut at the Broadway Bakery. On the way out, he sees a vision — the Belltel Lofts. At first he thinks the tingly feeling washing over him is a panic attack. However, that warm fuzzy glow is one of sheer joy. Downtown Brooklyn is undergoing a renaissance. And with rebirth comes the need for sanitation, construction, spare parts, general contracting and other opportunities. “Somebody up there likes me,” he says to himself.

With the day almost done, Soprano makes his way to a sit down with some business associates but notices some Brooklyn Law students playing on the indoor bocce court at Floyd NY and a Lexus parked crookedly outside. He walks in and buys a round of drinks for his daughter Meadow and her classmates.

Outside, Tony sees me and says, “Well, shall we go?”

“Yes, let’s go,” I say. My alarm clock rings and it’s over.

This year's Atlantic Antic was a great time, with Mary Weiss' Magnetic Field stage performance being one of the highlights.  Fans of every age watched her perform Shangri-Las classics and tunes from her new album, Dangerous Game.

The other highlight, of course, was the annual belly dance extravaganza staged by Eddie "the Sheik" Kochak. For anyone who didn't get the memo, Eddie is by far the coolest resident of Brooklyn Heights.

[video]http://youtube.com/watch?v=_TQBDGsgwps[/video] 

And even though Homer Fink's Brigate Bocce was completely dissed by FloydNY for the Fall season, BB roller Cindy almost took home the grand prize (a Trek bike) in the bar's annual Antic bocce tourney. (Wait until Winter… oh yes)

What did you do at the Antic? 

Goal.com: Pub Crawling: At 8 a.m. on Saturday, I'll stagger into Floyd's (along with anyone I can drag with me), prepared to chant "The Tottenham sing the Arsenal run away/And we will fight forever more because of Boxing Day" with the Hotspurs faithful. If someone hands me an illicit pint, so be it. In the spirit of fitting in, I'll drink to victory.

Where I end up is anyone's guess. Hopefully it will involve a bagel and coffee, and possibly my bed, but if someone suggests a victory lap across the Brooklyn Bridge, I'm game.

In a shocking development, Brigate Bocce has been denied a place in the Fall Season of FloydNY's Bocce League.  The team had been part of the Fall 2006 and Spring 2007 seasons but elected to take the summer off and return to play this Fall.  For some reason, capo Homer Fink was never notified (as usual via email) by league authorities that sign up for the new season had begun. Brigate Bocce had informed the league back in May that they were "in for the Fall season" and were "totally amped" about getting back on the clay. When the BB leader inquired on when sign up would begin he received this dispatch, perhaps the biggest "dis" in history since "NO SOUP FOR YOU":

"I'm afraid the season is already scheduled and closed. We'll keep you on the list for winter."

Appeals by Fink to the powers-that-be at Floyd to "make things right" have been ignored as of today.

Fink tells reporters that Brigate Bocce may just show up on Sundays at Floyd and challenge any team brave enough to play them.  Fink says, "Genereremo la nostra propria lega. Avremo un trophy grazioso e lotti dei cheerleaders caldi. Se non li avranno, avremo noi stessi."

Promising to plan a Winter league victory in exile (from Magnetic Field) Fink yelps, "Nessun bocce, nessuna pace!"

For the month of August, S&M took the Edinburgh Fringe Festival by storm playing several shows a day. The reviews are in:

• "Great stuff, in short, for 15-year-olds and Nuts readers." -The Scotsman
• "Stuckey & Murray combine guitars, banjos, ukuleles and videos to create life changing experiences." -Chortle the UK Comedy Guide

The duo will play at the Virgin Music Fest in Toronto on September 7.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIQBNts5-os[/video]

Plenty to discuss this week –

North Heights food "scene"… en fuego? (Call it NoHe, Northe, NoBro…)

NYUber Alles? 

Boccelism cured in FloydNY summer league… will teams quit whinin'? 

Don't forget it's another edition of Dick Swizzle's Sudden Death Game Show tonight at Magnetic Field! 

Laundromat…. need a laundromat. 

And from around the interweb: Blue Pig now pink, stink at dog park and car thefts on Willow Street covered by the Brooklyn Eagle.

Comment away! 

BHB Photo Club pic by Josh Derr on Flickr

The Summer of Schadenfreude in the FloydNY Bocce League culminated Saturday with three four time champs Boccelism eliminated in the semi-finals by the Coffee Flats Terrors.

On the other side of the bracket Fink's faux foes If You Want My Bocce were knocked out in the Final Four by Jimbo's Sweet Meat All Stars. 

That set the table for the final match between CFT and the Sweet Meat All Stars. The Terrors handily beat the Meats 7-0, 7-6.

This marked the first time in three four seasons that Boccelism failed to emerge as champs. Opposing teams have displayed frustrations at the dynasty in the making via bathroom graffiti, trash talk and homemade T-shirts.

Homer Fink and Brigate Bocce will return to the FloydNY league for the Fall Season.  Fink comments from his villa in Palermo, "Emergeremo come i campioni e noi promettiamo di mantenere il divertimento del bocce."

While Homer Fink's Brigate Bocce takes the summer off from the FloydNY Bocce League, we thought that this tidbit from the summer session was "newsworthy". Fink's faux foes If You Want My Bocce defeated long time (and thought to be unbeatable) champs Boccelism in this week's match. Clearly the power of Uri Geller must have had some sort of influence.

IYWMB: And what would a match against Boccelism be without a little controversy? At one point, Mike was measuring and accidentally moved the pallino further away from our ball and closer to theirs. The captain of Boccelism admitted that the pallino moved slightly but one team member who our team already had a run-in with in the past insisted that the pallino never moved. I'm not sure of all the details but it ended up not mattering much. And to be honest, what are the rules if your team is the one who moved the ball by accident? Regardless of when this happened during Game 3, it had no bearing on the outcome of the match because Mike had a great shot to give us a point anyway.

We scored two in the first frame of the comeback and we were on our way again. Mitch and Jim tied it at 3. Mike and I added two more points to give us a 5-3 lead.

And then it came down to Jim and Mitch. Jim led off with a perfect first roll. So perfect that Boccelism missed the next four shots. So we had three balls left to try to beat Boccelism for the first time ever! Mitch missed. Jim missed. But they were only missing to set up the dramatic final shot. In my hysteria, I forgot who rolled the winning shot (even though I knew who was taking it mere seconds before) and had to verify during the celebration who had actually rolled it.

“We stopped for breakfast at the Park Plaza diner across the street from the office. It was pretty good, a little like a diner he likes to go to near his house [on the Upper East Side.]”

However Bloomie and the gang apparently are brown bagging it for lunch saying that they haven't found anywhere to go.

New York Daily News: You're Gonna Love Brooklyn: But there's plenty of shopping all around – from the tony shops of Montague St. to the discount palaces at Fulton Mall to the hip boutiques of Court and Smith Sts.

On a rainy day, you can catch a flick at the UA Court St., the borough's loudest movie theater. But on a clear afternoon, you can take a free dip at the barge pool between Piers 4 and 5 – which boasts sweet views of your old home in lower Manhattan.

Elsewhere, Mayor Bloomberg and gal pal Diana Taylor can watch the sun set at the Fulton Ferry Landing at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge, and share a pie at Grimaldi's, one of Sinatra's favorites and just a jaunt from the Brooklyn Heights Promenade.

But if it's hot dogs you're craving, don't bother making the trip to Coney Island: The lines at the Nathan's Famous at the food court on Court St. are much shorter.

And before going back to Manhattan, you might want to rub elbows with all the Brooklyn lawyers and district attorney employees at O'Keefe's Bar and Grill, also on Court St.

Update: Brooklyn Eagle reports on Mayor Bloomberg's first Brooklyn press conference.

In his column in this week's Brooklyn Paper BHB publisher Homer Fink takes a flight of fancy… Sopranos style:

Brooklyn Paper: Sopranos Fan Waits for Tony: Millions of fans of “The Sopranos” went to bed on Sunday night feeling a little unsatisfied. Did Tony get whacked or was he faced with a different crisis — choosing between the burger or the steak? While existential nuance may tickle the fancy of drama students, “Sopranos” mavens wanted more Scorsese and a lot less Sartre.

The loose ends in the finale tell us that no story, no matter how great, ends with everything tied up neatly. But no one who has lived in Brooklyn Heights needs a TV show finale to tell him that. (Don’t we all wish we could tie up the loose ends in this neighborhood: Brooklyn Bridge Park, the Clark Street elevators, the BQE cantilever project, dopey drivers in the Brooklyn Bridge bike lane?)

Face it, that Schlitz you hurled at the television Sunday night was not entirely fueled by anger at the “Sopranos.” It was also fired up by excess double-parking, threats of congestion pricing, Astroturf in your park and the fact that you can’t get a decent meal without food poisoning on Montague Street. Not to mention the long lines of tourists at Grimaldi’s. Can’t a guy get a pizza without so much drama?

With that much pent-up it’s no wonder why not knowing Tony’s true fate would drive a man to — hallucination. A combination of that lack of closure, urban dread and some spicy meatballs got me dreaming about what really happens to the Jersey Capo, suggesting that maybe we need a little “Sopranos” in our lives:

Now that he’s made peace with the New York family, Tony has branched out to Brooklyn. “Good idea, Tony,” Paulie says. “I saw the Virgin Mary at the Fruit Street Sitting Area once.”

Tony pulls his SUV around the Brooklyn Bridge bike lane, flips off a bicyclist and begins searching for a parking spot on Henry Street. He’s cranking Bob Dylan’s “Tangled Up in Blue” on the stereo. Not long after rolling into the Heights, he realizes that street parking is futile and parks in the Henry Street garage.

Tony stops at the Busy Chef for a cappuccino. He likes the place. Two days later, the scaffolding that has been plaguing business for years is gone. “It’s good to have friends,” he tells Chef Dan.

In a futile search for a nice cappicola-and-peppers hero, Tony strolls along Henry Street, and notices an empty storefront — the former home of Q Photo. With a couple of calls, Soprano arranges for a pork store to open in the vacant space. Clearly, the high Heights rents won’t deter his desire for a satisfying lunch. He ponders turning the Brooklyn Heights Cinema into a strip joint, but a call from a certain blog publisher interrupts his train of thought. “Casino? I gotta check that out,” he says.

On Montague Street, Tony walks into the Heights Casino. Since his luck has turned good again, he’s always looking for action. He’s disappointed to observe only bankers in white shorts playing racquetball. Not a craps game or blackjack table in sight. He resolves to “fix that problem” and heads closer to Downtown. At the corner of Willoughby and Bridge Streets, Tony picks up a hot coffee and doughnut at the Broadway Bakery. On the way out, he sees a vision — the Belltel Lofts. At first he thinks the tingly feeling washing over him is a panic attack. However, that warm fuzzy glow is one of sheer joy. Downtown Brooklyn is undergoing a renaissance. And with rebirth comes the need for sanitation, construction, spare parts, general contracting and other opportunities. “Somebody up there likes me,” he says to himself.

With the day almost done, Soprano makes his way to a sit down with some business associates but notices some Brooklyn Law students playing on the indoor bocce court at Floyd NY and a Lexus parked crookedly outside. He walks in and buys a round of drinks for his daughter Meadow and her classmates.

Outside, Tony sees me and says, “Well, shall we go?”

“Yes, let’s go,” I say. My alarm clock rings and it’s over.

The park's new "grass" while looking lovely from afar, smells like a tire store, gets really hot and has more bounce to the ounce than Bootsy Collins.

Capo Homer Fink, Qfwfq and Mrs. Fink enjoyed a few games in a nice shady area of the park. Regulation bocce bounced like Spaldeens on the Cadmanturf, causing Fink and Qfwfq to bellow with laughter after the first throw.

Locals stopped and watched the exhibition match with many asking about the rules of the game and fanatics were curious about taking to the newfound "court" themselves.

Nevertheless, the turf is downright freaky. Rubber pellets (aka fake dirt) are already stroon across the concrete areas of the park. We hope that reports of its toxicity have been greatly exaggerated. 

Music in video from Star Wars The Musical.

Another week and another open thread:

Spring is here — all hail the puppet parade! 

What's with the street sign art? 

Remember to take our poll!

Boccelism wins FloydNY bocce tourney again. Dynasty? 

Clark Street station elevator blues.  

Anyone see Clinton? 

And whatever else is on your mind.

BHB Photo Club picture by dietrich via Flickr

Brigate Bocce capo Homer Fink, whose team was eliminated in the second round by the very Type A Kobra Kai, issued this statement upon learning of Boccelism's victory, "Gli Americani ed i ventilatori del bocce possono riposarsi bene stasera per il honor del nostro gioco caro è stato sostenuto. Gli uomini di Boccelism sono brave e sono temuti soltanto dal più debole degli uomini. Bravo Boccelism! Li vedremo nei finali la stagione prossima."

Brooklyn based band Pela have been named a Rolling Stone magazine Artist to Watch.  As part of their RS profile, they played bocce [video] with writer Amelia McDonell-Parry at FloydNY.

Their music, thankfully, is better than their bocce. As a matter of fact, Capo Homer Fink of Brigate Bocce challenges the band to a match, but only if they promise to play "for fun".

After beating the very affable Cleveland Steamers (wonderful citizens of the world btw) in the first round of playoff at FloydNY, the Brigates learned just what they've gained after a decade of therapy.

IT'S BOCCE IN A BAR, FRIENDS.

Kobra Kai, or at least some of their members have not gotten that memo yet. We feel their pain, but urge some of their team to seek some professional help ASAP. Or at the very least chill out to some old Richard Pryor records.

The Brigates put up a valiant fight — JDP from the Polling Unit, Dr. Mark and Mrs. Fink all kicked some arse, if you will.

But for those of you who may not get out very often, we need to reiterate — IT's BOCCE… IN A BAR. 

Understand that Fink has been a big fan of "Ross Flats" blog and his adventures in checking out the bocce courts of NYC. A fine American is he, we say.

But really, did we expect such an immature competitive spirit? Nope. Especially from (perhaps) SOME GUY who wouldn't even hug Fink midway through the match. Fink likes his hugs.

Fink says, "Giochiamo per divertimento. Le nostre vite reali molto stanno soddisfacendo. Riteniamo spiacenti per qualcuno di cui la vita sia così vuota che deve ottenere pazzo noi sopra un gioco bello di bocce."

But when Kobra Kai, who we understand have been in the FloydNY league for years, invoked "Rule 8" after a roll by Naked Idiot's Dan, the game of bocce at Floyd became complete "merda del toro". It made us a little teary, inside — where it counts.

But before YOU decide to take up arms and defend Brigate Bocce, let us say we welcome the day off next week to kick back and enjoy life here in the Greatest City in the World. And rest assured, the folks who run FloydNY didn't have this kind of "special" behavior in mind when they started their bocce league.

Kobra Kai, on the other hand, will be busy obsessing over Rule 8. Really…obsessing…over Rule 8.

For the finals next week we'd like to paraphrase Art Brut — If You Want My Bocce– TOP OF THE POPS …. BOCCELISM — TOP OF THE POPS!

See you on the clay next season. Brigate Bocce will continue to be gentle hippies and nothing more.

At Floyd NY today, Brigate Bocce ended its season with a "win" as this week's opponent, Jerk Store, needed to cancel due to illness. But that didn't stop the Finks from staging their own Battle of the Sexes.

Despite Homer's tenacious come back after falling behind 5 – 0, the fairer Fink ended up triumphant.

Fink held court outside of Floyd and told reporters, "La donna vincerà sempre. E migliore ha lasciato questo accadere che il combattimento esso. Crederlo. Così va."

The Brigates finish the season at 4 – 4 and enter the playoffs in two weeks and they'll be entering into a heavy training schedule Fink says. "Ci arresteremo a niente, tranne godere il trivia con il Sig. Dick Swizzle, per vincere quel trophy questo anno."

The wackiness never ends in the world of subways. The original MTA Service Advisory here.

The A,C: After an Easter respite, Chaos returns to the blue line for the next four weekends. NO SERVICE between Jay Street/Borough Hall and Utica Avenue. None. Nothing. Nada. Well, just a free shuttle bus. They claim there will be some nonstop buses between Jay Street and Utica Ave. They claim that the shuttle bus trip between those stops should be around 20-30 minutes depending on "traffic conditions". They also claim to have seen Bigfoot and the Jersey Devil playing bocce in Squibb Park. Read the MTA service advisory for more details.

And, of course, The C won't be running at all.

The N, R: All Brooklyn-bound trains are skipping the Court and Lawrence Street stations in Brooklyn, as well as City Hall, Rector, Whitehall street stops in Manhattan. They are being rerouted from Canal Street to DeKalb Avenue. Best to jump on the 4 to Borough Hall if you want to get out at Court or Lawrence.

The 4, 5: Manhattan-bound 4 trains are running express between Atlantic and Utica Avenues. If you are going to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden for Cherry Blossom Season, jump on a 2 train instead.

Both 4 and 5 Manhattan-bound uptown trains will be skipping Fulton Street. 

The F: Coney Island-bound trains will be skipping 4th Avenue, Prospect Park, and Fort Hamilton Highway stops. However, 7th Avenue is safe.

The Q: Manhattan-bound trains will run express between Kings Highway and Prospect Park. Every local stop in between is screwed. Consult the MTA Service Advisory for tea and sympathy. 

Photo by dietrich via Flickr. 

Following last week's win by default against Do These Droids Speak Bocce (long story, ask us sometime), Brigate Bocce suffered a humiliating defeat against Veni Vidi Bocce, 7 – 2, 7 – 2.

Capo Homer Fink vowed to purchase a Members Only jacket (VVV's signature apparel) of his own and press on with the Brigate Bocce season. "Eravamo come stong come tori. Abbiamo giocato tenaciously ma tuttavia ancora abbiamo perso il gioco."

Fink slugged down a tasty Ale-8-1 and screamed, "Presto saremo victorious. Vinceremo il trophy e faremo un ballo dove agitiamo sfrenatamente i nostri asini."

The Brigates record now stands at 2 – 4 for the Winter season. Next up Hanukah in Hollis at 1:45 on Sunday.